Why Do We Struggle To Be Present?
Slowing down is something we rarely give ourselves permission to do. You know, time to breathe. To be still. To be present. The rhythm of modern life doesn’t leave us much room for stillness.
Of course, being busy isn’t always bad. In fact, studies show that being ‘busy’ can enhance cognitive function, and we know that it also gives us purpose, especially as we get older. But like with anything in life, there’s a tipping point. When our days are full, and we get caught up in the constant ‘doing.’ Having those moments to pause, to be still, often disappear.
How many nights have you rolled into bed and wondered, ‘where did the day go?’ Your body is tired, but your mind is still racing.
The Cost of Constant Doing
We’re taught from very early on to value productivity, for many, it becomes tied to ‘self-worth. Being busy, worn like a badge of honour. I wrote a blog about this called, Internalised Capitalism: Redefining Self-worth beyond Productivity. So, we keep going, ticking off tasks on our never-ending list. But chronic busyness is linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety, and even burnout.
In research conducted by psychologist Dr Jill Walker amongst ‘professionals’:
- Over 90% said that being busy reduced their ability to think clearly, be creative, and prioritise.
- More than half said they struggled to be fully present with loved ones.
- And half admitted they found it hard to switch off from work, even outside working hours.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Even after stepping away from my corporate career, I still catch myself regularly checking and replying to emails outside of my designated work hours. Setting and maintaining these boundaries are a constant practice.
And I see it in others too.
A very dear friend of mine let’s call her Samantha is one of the most dynamic, successful women I know. She has worked hard to build the career success she has. She also makes time for early-morning workouts, prioritises a healthy diet, and an active social life.
But when we sit down for coffee, she’s rarely fully there.
Her body is, yes. But her attention? Already on the next thing. I say this with love, not judgement because I’ve been there too. Many of us have.
Especially as women, we are conditioned to do more, prove more, be more. But presence isn’t a luxury or a bonus. It’s essential.
Why Presence Matters
When you are present, you are more connected, not just to yourself and your loved ones, but also to the environment around you. For me, learning to be present felt like coming up for air and seeing what really mattered. And I saw myself again, perhaps for the first time in a really long while.
This isn’t a criticism of anyone who wants to focus on their career. You might have a mortgage to pay, small mouths to feed and a long list of other responsibilities. And maybe you can do it all. But something always slips. And too often, as women, it’s our own needs that fall to the bottom of the list.
When you learn to be present, it helps to reduce stress, you’re less anxious. This means your nervous system is more balanced. You’re sleep quality improves. So you have more energy and can think more clearly. Feel more grounded.
Presence strengthens our relationships with loved ones and allows us respond (rather than react) to life’s inevitable challenges.
And the best part? Learning to be more present in your life doesn’t require you to go off on silent retreat in the mountains. It begins with something simple: A pause. Connecting with your breath. A moment of noticing what’s here.
A Mindful Moment This Week
Try this gentle 5,4,3,2,1 grounding practice to bring yourself back to the present whenever the need arises.
Notice:
5 things you can see.
4 things you can touch or feel.
3 sounds you can hear.
2 scents you can smell.
1 thing you can taste.
And remember, tt’s a small moment that can shift everything.
Words to Inspire
“When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it.” Eckhart Tolle
If this resonated, you might like my Sunday emails.
Balance and Breath is a weekly pause for women with busy lives and busy minds who want to feel more present, more balanced and more like themselves.
Every Sunday, I share honest reflections and simple practices from Traditional Yoga, meditation and Ayurveda to help you find a little more calm and space in everyday life.
And when you join, I’ll send you my free 10-minute Yoga Nap to help you pause, deeply relax and feel like yourself again.
